On December 31, 2014, I relocated to LA and I had no set agenda. All I knew was that I would be starting a new job and living in a city that I had visited just a few times. I had no idea what I would experience in the days, weeks and months to come. I would be lying if I said I was not a little nervous. I was packing up my life and moving to a big city where I only knew a few good people and I was a little nervous about the unknown. I prayed and had conversations with my closest friends to help me make it through the transition. On January 12, 2015, I started my new job and was ready to get to know my new city and meet new people.
As the time progressed, I realized that things were not going to be as easy as I thought. My professional life was moving along smoothly but it was my personal life that had me experiencing a few twists and turns along this part of my journey. I joined several dating sites, a few groups/clubs in hopes of meeting people for friendships and dating. I went on many “meet and greets,” had solo date nights (with the hopes of meeting people), and had friends introduce me to people. Getting to know people in LA was not an easy job. There was a common trend: people who were interested in being more than friends with me were those I was not interested in, platonic connections were very hard to establish, sex was a driving force for most interactions, and people liked to say, “Let’s get together” but rarely followed through with concrete plans. Oy, this turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be.
Of course, like most people when things are not going the way they like, I realized that it was time to dig a little deeper and figure out what was going on. Relocating forced me to step out of my comfort zone and do things that I normally wouldn’t do. In January 2016, I decided to see a therapist/life coach. I realized that I was not very happy in LA and I had to figure out why. I find joy in going to a therapist. I always find out something new about myself that ultimately breaks down barriers and get me to the next level of my life.
I uncovered a few things in the six months I attended therapy:
- I missed my family and closest friends.
- I disliked the high cost of living in LA.
- I did not feel connected to the African American community in LA
- I missed authentic connections with people.
- I was becoming more independent and not so nervous about making life changes.
- I wanted a romantic relationship.
- I discovered I have new professional interests.
After six months with a life coach/therapist and a few more months of soul searching, I decided LA was not the place for me. In the last two years, I’ve experienced things that I would have never thought about doing before my move. There are no regrets for me about my time in LA, just lessons learned. The older I get, the more I realize what’s important to me and moving forward, I know I will be doing more of what’s important to me with the people I love!
Our lessons come from the journey, not the destination!