I got the idea for this blog after reading, “10 New Year’s Resolutions For Every Grown Ass Black Woman” (http://www.forharriet.com/2016/01/10-new-years-resolutions-for-every.html). One of my good friends (who happens to be a Strong Black Women) posted that blog on her Facebook page. I said to myself, “What the heck? Let me see what made the top ten 10.” As I read each one I thought to myself, some of these work for Grown Ass Black Gay Men. And here I am.
My list is comprised of real life events from my own life or from my close friends. It’s time to put some old habits away and focus on things that can change our trajectory in a good way. The better we are individually means that we become better collectively.
10 New Year’s Resolutions for Every Grown Ass Black Gay Man:
#10: Get rid of people who are not serving a purpose in your life. You need to be around people who bring out the best in you. You need to be in the company of friends who can make you laugh as well as those who can help you figure some things out. You need to be in the company of others who have purpose, drive and direction. Sometimes association brings about assimilation.
#9: Speak to other gay black men without expectation. I never understood why we look and never acknowledge or speak to one another. We are mature men and should be able to greet another gay black man with someone mistaking it for a sexual invitation.
On that note, I know social apps make sex easy, but that doesn’t mean you have to make all your interactions completely about that.
#8: Have real conversations and log off social media. Yes, I know it’s how you’ve met many people but having a fruitful in-person conversation has declined over the years. It’s time to turn off the cell phone and have an engaging conversation.
#7: Don’t be afraid to say yes to love. Don’t be afraid to say that you want a man or you want to be in love. It does not make you look weak or dependent on another for your happiness. Since such a huge part of a fulfilling life is love, you can only fully open yourself up to the experiences of life if you truly open yourself to the possibilities- both the risks and rewards- of love. You can still have self-love and be in relationship; one does not take the place of the other.
#6: Let’s move away from the labels. People are always trying to label us, let’s not do it to ourselves. We are a diverse group; whether you are masculine, feminine, butch, daddy, top, bottom, or verse, let’s all get along and show each other respect.
#5: Let go of the past. Yes, the past gives us some insight into the future but only if you use it as a lesson and not a remembrance of your mistake. Many never let go of their past mistakes and therefore can never get to their present or future blessings. The past is the past and there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t be a prisoner of the “Shoulda, woulda, coulda” syndrome.
#4: Stop comparing yourself to others. What works for others may not work for you. Your journey through life is based on your set of experiences; some you have control over and some you do not. Stand in your truth, figure out what works best for you and do it.
#3: Focus on your finances. We all like nice things and like to take nice trips but it should not be at the expense of your future. Part of standing in your truth and living your best life includes getting real about your finances. You should always know what’s on your credit report and what you are actually paying (with interest rates included). Knowing is half the battle.
#2: Know your self worth. Once you start believing you are a good person, you will be treated with respect. Self worth is about who you are and not about what you do or what you have. Get in touch with your inner voice and live your life with integrity.
#1: Always Practice Safe Sex. I know there have been amazing advancements in the fight against AIDS/HIV but we must always protect ourselves from all STI’s. Never place your health in the hands of another.
Have a great 2016!!